It seems that every time I have an assignment due for one of my education graduate classes, the same question pops into my head, "how am I going to be a teacher?" More so, how am I going to be a teacher with only 3 classes under my belt? I feel lost every time I try to work on an assignment and Satan really attacks my confidence. I try to tell myself "Gina you will be great, you are more than capable to do this" and then 2 seconds later there Satan is again filling my head and heart full of lies!
This questioning of is this where I am supposed to be, this stirring in my stomach, a place where failure is in the forefront of my mind. Why am I so afraid of failure?
How do I work beyond this into God's presence? No anxiety. No worries. No questioning. INTO a confidence in God's Will for my life. To be teaching in under resourced schools with no background of education. A place of peace. Of trust.
God is truly asking me to lay down my questions of the future at His feet, to allow God to carry me, to serve Him, and to not worry.
Sometimes, it is okay to just BE. To sit at the table of the Lord and to be still, not thinking a million thoughts and to breathe.
A revelation that I have been having is my presumption that teaching is easy and fun has proven to be quite the contrary. Teaching is a lot of work, this whole idea of assessing students learning to see if they are understanding the material. And after being a student for 17 years and now I am on the opposite end of that as a teacher is like switching gears from first to fifth. I commend my teachers, they truly are heroes.
I am here on this journey and I surrender.
About Me
- Chicago Adventure
- God is my source of life and want to honor Him in all things. I grew up in a small town in Missouri. I have an older brother John and an adorable nephew Dillon who is 4. I have 2 wonderful parents whom I love very much. I just graduated college from Northwest Missouri State University. God has led my steps to Chicago to participate in a service program over the next 2 years.
3 comments:
First of all, you won't be able to handle being a teacher, on your own. God knows this and that's why He's sent you into this area. He knows you can't do it without Him but knows that you have a willing heart and He will carry you through the times when you can't even stand.
You aren't just educating these kids Gina. You've been given an opportunity to love them. Who knows what kind of home and background these kids are coming from, where they are not loved at all. You have a part in affecting how they view the world around them, and as long as you're representing Christ, they will feel loved.
girl, I hear ya. I'm an education major and I want to teach in the inner city and I feel like I'm not prepared at all because I'm from the middle of nowhere and go to Northwest. I have so many doubts too. I've been reading a book lately though about how we can't be afraid to tell God our doubts...come to him w/ questions because He is a big God and He can handle them. Pour out your heart to God and then he will give you the strength to "be still and know that He is God."
Just remember that it's not our strength that enables to us to great things for Jesus, it's His.
I will be praying for you.
Anna
Gina you are so great. When I read your post all I can think about is how much you have tought me!
Keep the updates coming. I feel like it helps me connect to your life when i am so far away. ha I love you so much and San Diego misses you!
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